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Long, long ago, I promised the SG-1 as bunnies fic. Then, I kinda forgot about it until my stuffed bunny, Jack, reminded me that I really ought to post that, because wasn't around here somewhere, pretty much ready to go?
Jack is a wise stuffed rabbit (and the reason for this mess).
Title: Bunnies!
Fandom: SG-1
Category: Crackfic
Rating: Mild
Summary: SG-1 gets turned into bunnies. Maybe.
Jack emerged from the 'gate and took a couple of bounding hops down the stairs.
"Woah!" he said as he landed in a patch of green, springy grass.
Teal'c, who had been first through the wormhole, looked stoically at him from a few feet away. "It was an unusually rough transition."
Behind Jack, Sam and Daniel practically flew out of the event horizon, Sam landing upright a short distance away, on Teal'c's other side, and Daniel only half-stumbling just outside the patch of grass. He leaped up quickly.
"That was interesting," he said as he shook himself to remove the dirt.
"Not my fault," said Sam automatically as she bent around at a funny angle to check her pack.
Something was off.
Jack looked at Teal'c, who appeared to be waiting for the three Tau'ri to end their foolishness, and at Daniel, who was still giving slight annoyed shakes to dislodge the remainder of the dirt, to Sam, who had finished checking her pack and had taken a couple of minute shuffling hops in the direction of a temple nearby, her face buried in a technical readout of some sort.
Wait...
Hops?
He looked again. There was something wrong. Now Daniel was lifting a paw to dust off his ears--which were just pathetically floppy--and Sam--
"Captain! Stay where you are."
Sam's jumped back about a foot. "Sorry, sir," she said. Her nose twitched.
Jack looked down at himself.
"Holy shit!"
All three of his teammates turned toward him curiously.
He looked back expectantly. "Anything seem off to you guys?"
They exchanged looks among themselves. Finally, Daniel said, "Um...like what?"
Jack hunched his shoulders and gave his own nose an experimental twitch. "Like the fact that we're, oh...I don't know...rabbits?"
They looked again. Then they all--including Teal'c did a rather comical double-take and looked yet again.
"Huh," Daniel said, "I guess we are."
Sam said, "That would explain our speed when we exited the 'gate."
Teal'c said, "This is most unusual."
Jack said, "Does this bother anyone except me?"
All three stared at him blankly.
Jack sighed, and looked his team over again. They were all relatively small, with the same floppy ears across the board, although Daniel's were by far the...floppiest. Teal'c had, of course, dark brown fur that shone and obviously covered a muscular body. Daniel was a cinnamon color, and smaller than Teal'c, and Sam's fur was cream-colored. Jack himself was a medium-brown with slight gray tones underneath. They all had pink noses that seemed to twitch on a regular basis.
Jack sighed. "This is...not good. Okay, let's dial it up, folks. Better get checked out by the doc."
Daniel laughed, and even Sam giggled.
Jack glared, which only seemed to amuse them more.
Sam composed herself. "Sorry, sir, it's just..." but she dissolved into giggles again.
Daniel added, "you look so..." His shoulders hunched.
Sam took over again. "...you're so... cute."
Jack thought he heard ringing in his ears. "...What?!"
Teal'c inclined his head. "You are indeed adorable, O'Neill."
Jack pushed his head forward to glare more effectively, which only made Sam and Daniel burst into laughter again. Even Teal'c looked slightly amused.
"Traitor," he muttered, and turned to dial the 'gate himself. Only when he did, he saw the DHD looming above his small, furry, cute, rabbit body.
"Uh oh," he said, and woke up, sweating.
"Damn. Not again!" he said aloud. Ever since Mitchell's 200th trip through the 'gate, his dreams had gotten progressively more surreal. "When I get my hands on that..." he grumbled.
He reached for the phone.
Two rings, and Daniel answered, obviously still working on some important project, though it was way too late to be awake, even in Colorado. "'Lo?"
"I need you to do something for me."
"Hi, Jack. Yes, I'm fine, how are you?"
"Great. Look. I need you to kill Mitchell."
A pause.
"Why don't you ask Sam to help you with that?"
"Because Sam *likes* Mitchell."
"I like Mitchell, too," Daniell pointed out.
"But you're my friend. You're supposed to help me out with things like this."
"Sorry, Jack. I don't remember murder being part of the deal. In fact, I don't remember a deal at all."
"Daniel..."
"Jack..." Daniel mimicked. "Look, I've got to get back to this--Landry wants it in a few hours."
He hung up. Jack held the phone for a few seconds, scowled, and replaced it on the hook. Maybe he could find a way to convince Teal'c...
*_*_*_*
Jack is a wise stuffed rabbit (and the reason for this mess).
Title: Bunnies!
Fandom: SG-1
Category: Crackfic
Rating: Mild
Summary: SG-1 gets turned into bunnies. Maybe.
Jack emerged from the 'gate and took a couple of bounding hops down the stairs.
"Woah!" he said as he landed in a patch of green, springy grass.
Teal'c, who had been first through the wormhole, looked stoically at him from a few feet away. "It was an unusually rough transition."
Behind Jack, Sam and Daniel practically flew out of the event horizon, Sam landing upright a short distance away, on Teal'c's other side, and Daniel only half-stumbling just outside the patch of grass. He leaped up quickly.
"That was interesting," he said as he shook himself to remove the dirt.
"Not my fault," said Sam automatically as she bent around at a funny angle to check her pack.
Something was off.
Jack looked at Teal'c, who appeared to be waiting for the three Tau'ri to end their foolishness, and at Daniel, who was still giving slight annoyed shakes to dislodge the remainder of the dirt, to Sam, who had finished checking her pack and had taken a couple of minute shuffling hops in the direction of a temple nearby, her face buried in a technical readout of some sort.
Wait...
Hops?
He looked again. There was something wrong. Now Daniel was lifting a paw to dust off his ears--which were just pathetically floppy--and Sam--
"Captain! Stay where you are."
Sam's jumped back about a foot. "Sorry, sir," she said. Her nose twitched.
Jack looked down at himself.
"Holy shit!"
All three of his teammates turned toward him curiously.
He looked back expectantly. "Anything seem off to you guys?"
They exchanged looks among themselves. Finally, Daniel said, "Um...like what?"
Jack hunched his shoulders and gave his own nose an experimental twitch. "Like the fact that we're, oh...I don't know...rabbits?"
They looked again. Then they all--including Teal'c did a rather comical double-take and looked yet again.
"Huh," Daniel said, "I guess we are."
Sam said, "That would explain our speed when we exited the 'gate."
Teal'c said, "This is most unusual."
Jack said, "Does this bother anyone except me?"
All three stared at him blankly.
Jack sighed, and looked his team over again. They were all relatively small, with the same floppy ears across the board, although Daniel's were by far the...floppiest. Teal'c had, of course, dark brown fur that shone and obviously covered a muscular body. Daniel was a cinnamon color, and smaller than Teal'c, and Sam's fur was cream-colored. Jack himself was a medium-brown with slight gray tones underneath. They all had pink noses that seemed to twitch on a regular basis.
Jack sighed. "This is...not good. Okay, let's dial it up, folks. Better get checked out by the doc."
Daniel laughed, and even Sam giggled.
Jack glared, which only seemed to amuse them more.
Sam composed herself. "Sorry, sir, it's just..." but she dissolved into giggles again.
Daniel added, "you look so..." His shoulders hunched.
Sam took over again. "...you're so... cute."
Jack thought he heard ringing in his ears. "...What?!"
Teal'c inclined his head. "You are indeed adorable, O'Neill."
Jack pushed his head forward to glare more effectively, which only made Sam and Daniel burst into laughter again. Even Teal'c looked slightly amused.
"Traitor," he muttered, and turned to dial the 'gate himself. Only when he did, he saw the DHD looming above his small, furry, cute, rabbit body.
"Uh oh," he said, and woke up, sweating.
"Damn. Not again!" he said aloud. Ever since Mitchell's 200th trip through the 'gate, his dreams had gotten progressively more surreal. "When I get my hands on that..." he grumbled.
He reached for the phone.
Two rings, and Daniel answered, obviously still working on some important project, though it was way too late to be awake, even in Colorado. "'Lo?"
"I need you to do something for me."
"Hi, Jack. Yes, I'm fine, how are you?"
"Great. Look. I need you to kill Mitchell."
A pause.
"Why don't you ask Sam to help you with that?"
"Because Sam *likes* Mitchell."
"I like Mitchell, too," Daniell pointed out.
"But you're my friend. You're supposed to help me out with things like this."
"Sorry, Jack. I don't remember murder being part of the deal. In fact, I don't remember a deal at all."
"Daniel..."
"Jack..." Daniel mimicked. "Look, I've got to get back to this--Landry wants it in a few hours."
He hung up. Jack held the phone for a few seconds, scowled, and replaced it on the hook. Maybe he could find a way to convince Teal'c...
*_*_*_*
