![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Last seen with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
abyssinia4077:
The thing is, when people look for stories, they always make it sound like badfic. Now, often that's because it really is badfic, but sometimes it's good and they just suck at describing the story.
So, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to summarize badly any one (or more!) of my stories and I'll try to guess which it is. You could even pretend you don't remember the pairing or fandom to make it harder to guess.
EDIT: Okay, I can't resist. First of all,pepper_field has a rant about her IT department, and someone commented that *their* IT department is comprised of individuals who are clearly aliens from another planet. To which pepper said, "Yeah, but are the Asgards or Goa'ulds."
So then...
Set inside my rather cracked up SG-1 as gods and goddesses AU.
*_*_*_*_*
"Thank you for calling the technology support desk. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed. If you know your party's extention, you may dial it at any time."
Sam sighed. She made it a habit not to remember this particular extention, but sometimes even a goddess had to have a little extra help, and in those cases it was a pain to work her way through the standard service queues.
"To access the automated hotline for details about outages, current construction areas, or to request a Galactic Intervention Form for sectors 8755, 44, or 986, please press 1. For more information on the new Galactic Intervention Grand Opening, press 2. For assistance with the Stargate network, press 3."
Sam pressed 3. The phone dialed smugly, and then another voice came on.
"Please hold while we connect your call to the next available representative."
Another couple of dials--she was the only one who *called* this number, why there even was a queue was beyond her--and a bored voice answered the phone.
"Stargate Support Network, this is Ba'al. How may I help you?"
"It's Sam. I need you to reset the primary-"
Ba'al interrupted her. "I'm sorry, ma'am, what is the problem you are experiencing?"
Sam gritted her teeth. "You know why I'm calling. I know you monitor my systems, and the primary physics modifier is out again, and I need it reset."
Ba'al's voice came across smooth as silk. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but policy dictates that we first eliminate any of the Big Five Causal Errors outside the Physics Matrix before attempting a hard reset."
Oh, he enjoyed tormenting her. His afterlife was a living hell of inane technology help desk service calls, but Sam just knew that he couldn't resist baiting her whenever possible.
Still...there were ways to get what she wanted.
"I refuse to spend the next week and a half playing your games. Reset the primary or I'll ask to speak to your supervisor."
There was a pause. Finally, Ba'al cleared his throat. "Oh, very well. But you take all the fun out of my job."
"Good. You're an ass," Sam said.
"Someday I'll call your bluff. And then maybe he'll cut you a new one, for not maintaining your Matrices below the specified levels."
Sam knew the threat was an empty one. "Yeah, or he'll see that my Matrices are the lowest among all the managers. You know as well as I do those levels are completely arbitrary."
"Yeah, yeah."
Sam could almost see Ba'al lounging back in his chair, waving his arm imperiously.
"There," Ba'al said.
Sam watched the little rows of lights on her system light up, one by one.
"Thank you," she said.
"Whatever. I mean--Was there anything else? No? Then have a fantastic eon."
The call disconnected. Sam dropped her end of the call and moved everything back to where it was before she'd found the offending system. She hated dealing with IT.
abyssinia4077:The thing is, when people look for stories, they always make it sound like badfic. Now, often that's because it really is badfic, but sometimes it's good and they just suck at describing the story.
So, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to summarize badly any one (or more!) of my stories and I'll try to guess which it is. You could even pretend you don't remember the pairing or fandom to make it harder to guess.
EDIT: Okay, I can't resist. First of all,
pepper_field has a rant about her IT department, and someone commented that *their* IT department is comprised of individuals who are clearly aliens from another planet. To which pepper said, "Yeah, but are the Asgards or Goa'ulds."So then...
Set inside my rather cracked up SG-1 as gods and goddesses AU.
*_*_*_*_*
"Thank you for calling the technology support desk. Please listen carefully, as our menu options have changed. If you know your party's extention, you may dial it at any time."
Sam sighed. She made it a habit not to remember this particular extention, but sometimes even a goddess had to have a little extra help, and in those cases it was a pain to work her way through the standard service queues.
"To access the automated hotline for details about outages, current construction areas, or to request a Galactic Intervention Form for sectors 8755, 44, or 986, please press 1. For more information on the new Galactic Intervention Grand Opening, press 2. For assistance with the Stargate network, press 3."
Sam pressed 3. The phone dialed smugly, and then another voice came on.
"Please hold while we connect your call to the next available representative."
Another couple of dials--she was the only one who *called* this number, why there even was a queue was beyond her--and a bored voice answered the phone.
"Stargate Support Network, this is Ba'al. How may I help you?"
"It's Sam. I need you to reset the primary-"
Ba'al interrupted her. "I'm sorry, ma'am, what is the problem you are experiencing?"
Sam gritted her teeth. "You know why I'm calling. I know you monitor my systems, and the primary physics modifier is out again, and I need it reset."
Ba'al's voice came across smooth as silk. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but policy dictates that we first eliminate any of the Big Five Causal Errors outside the Physics Matrix before attempting a hard reset."
Oh, he enjoyed tormenting her. His afterlife was a living hell of inane technology help desk service calls, but Sam just knew that he couldn't resist baiting her whenever possible.
Still...there were ways to get what she wanted.
"I refuse to spend the next week and a half playing your games. Reset the primary or I'll ask to speak to your supervisor."
There was a pause. Finally, Ba'al cleared his throat. "Oh, very well. But you take all the fun out of my job."
"Good. You're an ass," Sam said.
"Someday I'll call your bluff. And then maybe he'll cut you a new one, for not maintaining your Matrices below the specified levels."
Sam knew the threat was an empty one. "Yeah, or he'll see that my Matrices are the lowest among all the managers. You know as well as I do those levels are completely arbitrary."
"Yeah, yeah."
Sam could almost see Ba'al lounging back in his chair, waving his arm imperiously.
"There," Ba'al said.
Sam watched the little rows of lights on her system light up, one by one.
"Thank you," she said.
"Whatever. I mean--Was there anything else? No? Then have a fantastic eon."
The call disconnected. Sam dropped her end of the call and moved everything back to where it was before she'd found the offending system. She hated dealing with IT.
