holdouttrout

1. Live on the west coast and go to an east-coast con. Revel in your temporary status as a night person without throwing off your sleep schedule.

2. Buy earplugs and fall asleep during the movie your roommates started watcing at your bedtime.

3. Use the workout room. Politely ignore any theoretical celebrities that may be present. Daydream about one of them entering the workout room and asking you how to use the weight machine.

4. Make friends with the cleaning staff. (Or just exchange pleasant morning smiles.)

5. Map out your escape route variations for fire, zombie apocalypse, or political assassins.

6. Go to pre-breakfast.

7. Scroll Tumblr.

8. Watch the news on the weight room TV and worry about the effects of political divisions and cultural divergence on your country.

9. Listen to podcasts and worry about the effects of political divisions and cultural divergence on the Oscars.

10. Read the book you optimistically packed. (Unless you hypothetically forgot it in your bag the night before. DO NOT attempt to get it out while your roommates are asleep, as your name will become an abomination to them.)

11. Wait for your roommates to wake up.