holdouttrout: not your ordinary fish (leverage_parker)
Too long to fit into a comment at the [livejournal.com profile] carnivalofsquee gleeathon, so I'm posting it here.

From the prompt "The fine art of space ship theft," which was pointed out to me by [livejournal.com profile] beanpot.



"I've never done one of these before," Parker said, her eyes gleaming as she took in the sleek lines and smooth corners of the vehicle in front of them. The starlight seemed to slide right off of it, and if even Vala was taken by it, she could only imagine what the blonde Earther thought.

"Lyrian 500 series," she said. "Brand new, too, by the looks of it." She took note of the lone guard, and guessed that he would be more than bored by now, and probably dead tired, too. Best kind. Also, he worked for some really nasty people, so she wouldn't have to feel bad at all for stealing the pretty ship from under his nose. They had to get home somehow, after all.

"Think it has that new spaceship smell?" Parker asked, her eyes gleaming with just a hint of avarice.

Vala had never thought of it quite that way. "You tell me."

Parker grinned and got ready to move, shifting around in a crouch that left Vala more than a little impressed, both by her agility and her stealth.

Approaching the target without being seen was more than half the battle, but Vala hadn't yet met the clearing that had defeated her ability to sneak up on an unsuspecting victim. Parker was perfect, too--quieter than Vala, and just as cautious. Which was to say, not very. They made it to the side of the ship without the guard so much as blinking in their direction.

Vala grinned. It was such a pleasure working with a fellow professional.

They were plastered against the side of the ship, and Vala said, "Okay, me first." She slipped around to the front of the ship, just behind the guard, who was staring at the far end of the field. She got right behind him, and then said, "Excuse me--"

He swung around, arm outstretched, and Vala had to duck. He was faster than she'd thought. She adjusted out of her crouch and slammed her hand into his jaw. While he was still stunned, she drew back and whacked him on the temple. He went down with a sound somewhere between a crash and a thump.

"All clear," she said.

Parker joined her just in time for Vala to pop open the access panel, and leaned over to watch while Vala yanked out a couple of wires and then hit a small green button hidden to the side. The doors slid open with a satisfying and whoosh, the metallic, fresh air wafting over the two women outside the ship's doors.

Parker took a deep breath, her eyes closing as she savored it, and when she opened them again, she said, "Oh, yeah."

Vala checked the guard to make sure he was down, and then stepped inside. Parker followed cautiously, though Vala noticed she dragged her fingers along the side panels. The corridor was empty, but as they came to the bridge, Vala frowned.

"Uh oh," she said.

"What?"

Vala point to the door. "It's locked."

Parker blinked. "Well...you can unlock it, right?"

"I can...with enough time." Vala sighed. They'd have to hope that guard wasn't about to get relieved of duty.

Parker was craning her neck, looking around at the door and the nearby panels. "Never mind," she said. She popped her neck and then headed straight for an air shaft that Vala swore was way too small for a person to fit through, not to mention more than a few feet off the floor. Parker grabbed the sides and hauled herself up, folding somehow so she fit inside, her feet the last to disappear.

Vala only had to wait a couple of minutes and then the doors slid open to reveal a grinning Parker.

"Enjoy yourself?" she asked.

Parker just smiled wider.

Vala took one look at the controls on the bridge and chuckled. "Oh, that's too good. They guard the ship and lock the bridge, but don't set control safeties?" She nodded to Parker, who had moved to stand by the viewscreen , which took up the entire front of the bridge, from ceiling to floor. "You'll like this part." She sat down in the pilot's chair and touched a panel. The ship hummed to life, and the lights came on. "Just one...more...check..." a light blinked to green and Vala grinned. "Here we go!"

The ground swooped out from under their feet, the inertial dampeners keeping the two women in the ship from feeling a thing. Parker gaped, actually stumbling back a step before the grin reappeared and she moved forward again. When they broke into the outer atmosphere, Parker laughed and then threw her head back.

"Whoohooo!" she yelled, and Vala found herself grinning at Parker's infectious delight. She knew exactly what Parker meant.

"You know," Vala said as they entered hyperspace. "If you ever get tired of working for Nathan...well...so many ships, so little time."

Date: 2009-03-20 05:24 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] annerbhp.livejournal.com
So. Awesome. I can't tell you how exited I am that you wrote this prompt! Vala and Parker, BFF for life. Bwah! So much fun.

Date: 2009-03-20 03:25 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] holdouttrout.livejournal.com
ext_2131: picture of a fish with lots of green (leverage_parker)
Parker would make an excellent space pirate, though she might insist on bringing her (totally canonical) cats.

Date: 2009-03-20 05:28 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com
ext_18106: (Cadman is more awesome than you. Deal.)
<3 <3 <3

I don't know which is the best part. Maybe Parker and that 'new ship' smell. *gleeful*

Date: 2009-03-20 03:26 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] holdouttrout.livejournal.com
ext_2131: picture of a fish with lots of green (leverage_parker)
Hee. When Bean pointed out this prompt, I just kept thinking about how AWESOME it was. Parker and Vala, stealing something. Yes.

Date: 2009-03-20 11:10 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] beanpot.livejournal.com
You wrote it! You wrote it!

You are awesome!

Date: 2009-03-20 01:24 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] aurora-novarum.livejournal.com
ext_3557: annerb icon with scenes of all team variations, my OTP (Teal'c & Vala)
You know, when you were going on about Vala and Parker, for some reason I was thinking you meant Miss Parker from Pretender.

This makes much more sense and is awesome.

Date: 2009-03-20 03:27 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] holdouttrout.livejournal.com
ext_2131: picture of a fish with lots of green (parker)
Hee! I still get confused in my head about this. "Parker" automatically defaults to Miss Parker, which makes Leverage only slightly confusing.

*uses wrong icon on purpose, she swears*

Date: 2009-03-20 03:27 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] holdouttrout.livejournal.com
ext_2131: picture of a fish with lots of green (leverage_parker)
Hee! I HAD to. The idea was made of win.

Date: 2009-03-20 01:26 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] aurora-novarum.livejournal.com
ext_3557: annerb icon with scenes of all team variations, my OTP (Vala & Cam Cool)
I love this. I would normally worry why Parker was on another planet and how the crossover works, but WHO CARES! It's Parker and Vala on a heist!

New ship smell. Climbing through the vents.

I think my favorite part is this:
Parker was perfect, too--quieter than Vala, and just as cautious. Which was to say, not very.

Hee, they are totally kindred spirits.

Date: 2009-03-20 03:28 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] holdouttrout.livejournal.com
ext_2131: picture of a fish with lots of green (leverage_parker)
Yeah...I wondered about that, too. Why *is* Parker on another planet? I gave up on figuring that out for a comment fic, though I'm sure there's a good story. Involving money, deceit, and a Goa'uld. *nods*

Parker and Vala together would be frightening and awesome!

Date: 2009-03-20 01:52 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] mymatedave.livejournal.com
Very cool.

Date: 2009-03-20 03:29 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] holdouttrout.livejournal.com
ext_2131: picture of a fish with lots of green (leverage_parker)
Thank you!

Date: 2009-03-20 01:55 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] ijemanja.livejournal.com
Eeee! I might have said these two together would be too much awesome to contain in one fic, but I think you managed it. Pure and utter WIN.

Date: 2009-03-20 03:30 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] holdouttrout.livejournal.com
ext_2131: picture of a fish with lots of green (leverage_parker)
Hee! It is rather a lot of awesome. *g* I'm glad you liked it!

Date: 2009-03-27 02:41 am (UTC)From: [identity profile] green-grrl.livejournal.com
Awesome! Awesome! Awesome! I can't stop grinning! Perfect matchup. :DDDD

Date: 2009-03-27 03:00 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] holdouttrout.livejournal.com
ext_2131: picture of a fish with lots of green (Default)
Hee. I'm glad you enjoyed it. They'd get along so well, wouldn't they?

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