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I've been hitting my head against the writing wall lately, and I've decided there's only one cure: a meme.
Give me two of the most outrageous prompts you can think of: silly, cliche, or just plain absurd, and I'll pick one and write it in three hundred words or less.
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annerbhp, do you think this would count as finishing something? *g*
Give me two of the most outrageous prompts you can think of: silly, cliche, or just plain absurd, and I'll pick one and write it in three hundred words or less.
annerbhp, do you think this would count as finishing something? *g*
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Date: 2010-03-05 05:04 am (UTC)From:I think you should write gingerbread man porn. Duh.
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Date: 2010-03-05 05:06 am (UTC)From:*sighs, throws up her hands, and gives up*
Just remember: you asked for it.
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Date: 2010-03-05 05:37 am (UTC)From:******
If SG-1 had known about the strange chemistry of the flour from P44-444, they never would have used it to create gingerbread men--at least, not while the telchak device was in the same room. The combination had proved dangerous; as soon as the gingerbread men had baked, they had become animated, and...
"Run, run, as fast as you can; you can't hide from me, I'm the gingerbread man!"
Amorous.
The hastily barricaded door held against a tremendous thunk.
"Jackson!" Cam yelled.
"I'm looking, I'm looking!" came the hurried reply. Daniel was flipping frantically through his notebook, looking for clues as to why this had happened, and how to reverse the process.
It hadn't seemed to matter that the telchak device hadn't even been turned on, and nothing could seem to slow the men down. Decapitation just left them looking still more obscene, their little gingerbread bodies writhing across the floor while their heads called out all kinds of horrid suggestions.
They'd retreated strategically to one of the bedrooms, Daniel flipping through his notebook, and throwing everything against the door he could possibly find.
"They're making more of them," Sam said, peering through the keyhole.
"What? How?" Cam asked.
Sam blanched. "You don't want to know."
Vala took a quick peak. "Oh, ugh." She stood up, grabbed the notebook out of Daniel's hands, and tossed it into the far corner. "It's time for more drastic measures," she said.
Teal'c raised an eyebrow. "We have a most formidable foe," he said.
Cam snapped his fingers. "I've got it. What's the first rule of baking cookies?"
The rest of them looked blank.
Cam rolled his eyes. "Don't overbake."
That's when they brought out the flamethrower.
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Date: 2010-03-05 05:55 am (UTC)From:You win.
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Date: 2010-03-05 06:56 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 07:03 am (UTC)From:And you are right, Sam. I *don't* want to know how they are reproducing. *shudder*
Absolutely hilarious, and definitely counts!! :D
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Date: 2010-03-05 05:45 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 04:59 pm (UTC)From:LOL. I wholeheartedly agree! Don't want that image. Although I'm sure it's hilarious!
The flamethrower is a nice touch ;)
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Date: 2010-03-05 05:45 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 08:14 pm (UTC)From:"They're making more of them," Sam said, peering through the keyhole.
"What? How?" Cam asked.
Sam blanched. "You don't want to know."
This is the point at which I laughed out loud and got a funny look from my colleague.
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Date: 2010-03-08 01:37 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-06 04:21 am (UTC)From:Oh, I'm so glad I didn't have something to drink before I read this! My 'puter would have gotten the dreaded bath of hysterical laughter!
Flamethrowers for teh WIN!
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Date: 2010-03-08 01:38 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 07:50 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 02:45 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 05:10 am (UTC)From:1) Sam's on the run from her abusive husband with her toddler triplets who are really Jack's. (Wait, I think I read this one already.)
2) Jack gets three wishes from a genie in a beer bottle.
Bwah! Have fun picking between those beauts.
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Date: 2010-03-05 05:13 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 06:37 am (UTC)From:He reached over to get a towel to wipe it off, but the foam spilled down the neck of the bottle and over his hand. He watched as the foam completely emptied the bottle and dropped from his hand to the floor.
Jack eyed the bottle, and the foam, and then put the bottle down on the table with the other two empties. "I think that's it for me."
He creaked his way out of the chair and grimaced as his knees popped.
"I wish that could have been fixed one of the times I was in that damn sarcophagus," Jack grumbled.
"Done," said a voice.
At the unfamiliar voice, Jack dropped behind the couch so quickly he had no time to think about his knees at all, but his reaction proved unnecessary. There was no one in the room.
No one, but... something seemed wrong. There, in the middle of the floor, where the beer had spilled... it was moving. As he watched, it coalesced into a vaguely humanoid shape.
"That's better," the voice said. It was coming from... Jack's beer.
Jack eyed the phone, but it was across the room.
"Okay," Jack said. "Let's just... take it from the top. What are you?"
"I am the genie of the beer bottle," the thing said. "Gene, for short. If you must."
Jack blinked. "O...kay."
"I have granted the first of your three wishes. What is your next desire?"
Jack said, "A beer bottle? Really?"
Gene somehow gave the impression of rolling his eyes, despite not having any. "That's what you're having trouble with? The type of bottle? I happen to like beer."
"Well," Jack said, "we have that in common."
Gene snorted.
Jack stood cautiously. To his surprise, his knees made no sound. "Huh. You really fixed them?"
Gene sighed. "Yes. Now, do you have other wishes or is that it?"
Jack thought about it for a moment. "I could think of a couple of things," he said.
******
"Sir, this is the best burger you've ever grilled," Carter said. Teal'c, his mouth full of his own burger, merely inclined his head.
"I always grill a mean burger," Jack said, only a little defensive.
Sam and Teal'c gave each other a look. "Right, sir. Absolutely."
"Jack," Daniel called from the kitchen, "why is your fridge full of nothing but beer?"
Jack shrugged. "It was free," he said.
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Date: 2010-03-05 07:05 am (UTC)From:How in the world did you actually make that work!? Amazing! :D
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Date: 2010-03-05 02:43 pm (UTC)From:******
"Sir, this is the best burger you've ever grilled," Carter said. Teal'c, his mouth full of his own burger, merely inclined his head.
"I always grill a mean burger," Jack said, only a little defensive.
Sam and Teal'c gave each other a look. "Right, sir. Absolutely."
Well, he would now, anyway.
"Jack," Daniel called from the kitchen, "why is your fridge full of nothing but beer?"
Jack shrugged. "It was free," he said. What could he say? He was a simple man.
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Date: 2010-03-05 04:58 pm (UTC)From:LMAO!!! Good stuff!
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Date: 2010-03-05 05:46 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-05 08:15 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-08 01:39 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-06 04:24 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-08 01:39 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2010-03-06 04:27 am (UTC)From:1) Cam loses his pants on a bet...But so does Sam! (And Jack's there to...appreciate it, shall we say?)
2) Vala has laryngitis, but still manages to drive Daniel nuts.
Either of those sound fun to you? :D
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Date: 2010-03-08 02:36 am (UTC)From:***
"That was a good mission," Vala said cheerfully.
Cam shot her a dirty look, which she either didn't notice or was pretending not to notice.
"Indeed," Teal'c said, and the glare transferred to him.
"Well, we got a lot of information, and some cool technology, and it barely cost us anything," Sam said, adjusting her pack.
"You're telling me you're okay with this?" Cam said.
"It could have been so much worse," Daniel said.
Cam stopped. "You're only saying that because you got to keep your pants!"
"A pity," Vala said.
Daniel rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, Cam. It's not that big of a deal. Sam's not complaining."
"Well, my legs are nicer than Cam's," Sam said modestly. "And I shaved yesterday."
Cam sighed. "It's really not a big deal to you that we're going to have to walk through the gate into the SGC without our pants?"
Sam shrugged. "I've had worse."
Cam groaned. "I'm just wondering why Sam and I had to give them both the pairs we had on and our spares."
Daniel shrugged. Cam gave him another glare and then threw up his hands, resuming his walk to the gate.
The rest of them exchanged smirks and followed.
Before Cam had gotten out of earshot, Daniel said, "Didn't Ferretti have a betting pool going on about the next time Cam would lose his pants?"
"Indeed," Teal'c said.
Cam halted.
"And isn't General O'Neill supposed to be here this week?" Vala asked.
Sam grinned. "Yup."
Ahead of them, Cam dropped his head in defeat.
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Date: 2010-03-09 03:47 pm (UTC)From:Ferretti's going to owe Cam a beer at least!
Thanks for writing this for me! {sends hugs}
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Date: 2010-03-09 04:23 pm (UTC)From: