Thursday/Friday Madness: Let the Snark Begin!

[holdouttrout]

Recently, we (meaning me and...mostly me, but other people had a hand in this, I'm sure) were talking about Jack and Vala, and how they never interact in the series. And for some reason, one of my fic-kinks is Jack and Vala interacting--I've written it at least three or four times.

I'm pretty sure it's the snark.

Anyway...I'm opening up my journal for Jack/Vala comment fic. Feel free to comment, meta, giggle, rant--anything, as long as it has mention of Jack and Vala...together, though not necessarily as a couple.

It's time to show the world how snark is done.

To start us off, I've got a little ficlet in which there is kissage. Enjoy!

*_*_*_*_*

Title: More Wacky Aliens
Pairing: Jack/Vala, sort of
Category: Humor, crackfic, Aliens Made Them...
Notes: I'm not the first to write this pairing, am I?

"Does this sort of thing happen a lot?" Vala asked, looking at each of her (resigned) teammates in turn. Even Cam didn't look surprised, although he kinda looked...anticipatory.

She looked away, quickly.

"I guess so," she said.

Teal'c said, "We have not been in such a situation since you joined the team, Vala Mal Doran."

"But we had three the year before," Sam said tiredly.

Cam grinned. "Daniel was tired of taking the brunt."

Jack, who had finagled his way off-world for the second time in as many months, glowered. Cam stopped smiling.

Daniel sighed. "Well, at least it's only a kiss."

Sam muttered, "More like making out."

It did seem as if they were going to be requested to emulate the citizens of the planet, who kissed...vigorously...before taking their leave of each other. They were watching the conversation (which they couldn't understand, not speaking English), and they looked increasingly annoyed.

Vala kept an eye one them. "Uh, guys, we better...do this fast. I don't think they're very happy about us mucking about with their traditions."

Cam said, "Right then. Whose turn is it?"

Sam brightened for the first time since the native announced their displeasure that they would leave without a traditional kiss.

"Oh, I think Vala should go, seeing as she's never done this before."

Vala glared, but Sam was undeterred.

Vala looked at Daniel, who looked panicked. "Oh, no. I've done more than enough of these."

Teal'c--well, he somehow managed to convey his displeasure at the thought without changing his expression. Vala moved on to Cam, who looked more agreeable, when Daniel suddenly sat up.

"It's Jack's turn."

Everyone whipped their heads in Daniel's direction.

"What?" Daniel asked innocently.

Jack's eyebrows traveled up his forehead. "What do you mean, it's my turn?"

Carter said thoughtfully, "Actually, sir, Daniel's right. The last time you were...involved...was on PG9-987, and that was more than a year <u>before</u> you were promoted to general."

Jack stared at her. "Carter, we're going to have to talk about this when we get home."

Just then, the villagers around them started muttering.

"Much as I hate to interrupt this fascinating discussion," Vala said quickly, "I think we better get--"

Sensing the urgency of the situation, Jack grabbed Vala by the arms and kissed her. Initially surprised by his speed if not his intent, Vala froze. But if there was one thing Vala did well, it was improvise. She held onto her P-90 with her left hand and slid the other around the general's neck. Startled in turn, he stumbled a bit but recovered nicely, pulling the former thief even closer.

Vala had time to think about how he really wasn't a bad kisser at all before there were suddenly tongues involved and she had somehow managed to hand off her P-90 to Teal'c--a good thing, because she was no longer in control of her balance.

Okay. That wasn't what she'd been expecting. But then, General O'Neill had always seemed a bit...

She made an involuntary noise as she felt herself being dipped beyond any last remnant of control.

...rash.

Then, just as suddenly, she was upright, flushed, and Jack looked almost as surprised as she was. The natives were smiling approvingly. The team was...a little shocked.

Jack coughed. "Right, then. Carter, dial us home."

Carter obeyed automatically. Daniel muttered, "Ok, that was weird."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. As the rest of the team went through the wormhole, Vala finally recovered. "So...how far is Washington D.C., anyway?"

*_*_*_*_*

Comments

[karma-aster.livejournal.com]

"What do you call this again?"

"Guinness." Jack studied the level of liquid in Vala's bottle. "You want another one?"

"Please!" Vala swigged the remnant in her bottle and held it out, giving a charming smile.

"Hey! How come she gets another beer?" Daniel called out from across the room.

"Because she's not a cheap date, Daniel."

Sam let out a quick snort, hiding it in another sip of beer as Daniel glared at her.

"Sure. Mock me."

"If you insist." Vala smirked and accepted the fresh beer that Jack handed her. "I like you, General."

"Yeah. Kinda like you too." He popped the cap off and saluted her with the bottle. "Call me Jack."

[holdouttrout.livejournal.com]

*wiggles fingers in glee*

I never fail to laugh when Daniel's "cheap date" status is mentioned.

[karma-aster.livejournal.com]

It's one of those cliches that will never, never die.

Which, mind you, is the writer's fault kinda for letting the cheap date deal go all the way into Lost City. Although we didn't actually see how many beers he'd had before going into his "Dude! Teal'c is so DEEP!" spiel.

And I do firmly believe that Vala can hold her alcohol better than Daniel. Either because she's just more experienced at drinking or she's got a slightly different metabolism what with being from another planet.

[pepper-field.livejournal.com]

I counted the bottles of Guinness they had around them in Lost City, once (what? I had some time on my hands!). There were... quite a lot. Particularly as Teal'c doesn't drink. I forget how many, but I seem to remember dividing them by three and thinking I'd be as bad as Daniel.

But then, I'm a cheap date, too. *g*

And, more to the point, I like your ficlet! Jack and Vala and beer seem to... go, somehow. :)

[holdouttrout.livejournal.com]

Every time I watch that scene, I do quick mental calculations of how many are by whom. And it's a *lot,* considering it still looks pretty light outside.

[holdouttrout.livejournal.com]

I do firmly believe that Vala can hold her alcohol better than Daniel.

I firmly agree with you on this point. I don't know about different metabolisms, but it seems to make sense (in a stargatey way) to me. Besides, it wouldn't make any sense at all to have Daniel out-drink Vala. :-D

I love that spiel, too..you just *know* CJ had trouble keeping a straight face. In fact, I'd bet they all had trouble keeping straight faces. "What? Mortal Peril? Again? Does this mean we can bring out the angst, or do we have to shrug it off with laughter again?"

[paian]

whisper99's idea of a Jack-and-Vala 'Shroud'fic challenge got a couple of really nice responses, this one from 6beforelunch and this one from niamaea.

[holdouttrout.livejournal.com]

Thank you for pointing those out--they're both quite wonderful--very angsty little snippets.

[pepper-field.livejournal.com]

I've been trying to write a ficlet for you, but it's not working out for me (nuts), so I will just say "Eeee! Jack and Vala, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g..." *g* Very cute. I like Vala's dazed state, and the team's shock, and Jack being a good kisser (but of course), and "But we had three the year before," Sam said tiredly.

Ah, Aliens Making Them Do It, you can't beat it. Heeheehee.

[holdouttrout.livejournal.com]

I like how it's such a cliche that it's become a cliche that it's a cliche. There's Julie's fantastic AMTDI fic that just got recced yesterday, and it's just so perfectly tongue-in-cheek--Daniel moaning about why *he* nevers gets has to sleep with Sam--and I'm using it to prove my point.

;-D

[whisper99.livejournal.com]

*squeeeeeeeeeeeee!* This is fun!!!! I love the idea of Jack/Vala - though Jack/Daniel/Vala is even *HOTTER* :)

[holdouttrout.livejournal.com]

LOL. Jack/Daniel/Vala is pretty squee-ful, 'tis true.

[elle11elle.livejournal.com]

oh i really want to see the repercussions of this

[holdouttrout.livejournal.com]

Hee! Jack/Vala would be awesome... but so far I haven't quite been able to write it as ship. Just for fun!