holdouttrout

It's "Update your information to continue receiving this completely irrelevant magazine you never look at time!"

I just took a call that went something like this:

Holdouttrout: [Company]; Can I help you?"
Magazine: Yes, may I speak to [Boss]?
Holdouttrout: *senses salesperson, deflects* May I ask who you're calling with?
Magazine: Yes, I am with [Magazine Boss never looks at].
Holdouttrout: Well, I can help you if you're looking to update information. Actually, we would like to unsubscribe.
Magazine: Oh, well, I can see that [Boss] is one of our top subscribers.
Holdouttrout: Top subscribers? It's a free publication, correct?
Magazine: Yes.
Holdouttrout: Okay. Then how can he be one of the top subscribers?
Magazine: Well, I do not know the criteria for our ratings, but I can see that he is a top subscriber.
Holdouttrout: *mind boggles* Well, that's... good. But we'd still like to unsubscribe, thank you.
Magazine: *defeated* Okay, then. Thank you, and have a good day.
Holdouttrout: Thank you.

Just. Top subscriber? For a FREE publication? Oh, the endless amusement my job provides.